That Familiar Tug

     Thirteen years ago I felt a tug. My husband felt it too. I was forty-seven years old with four children ranging from ages eleven to twenty-one. I hadn't felt this tug since before the birth of my last baby. But here it was, happening, and I knew it instinctively. The Red Thread was pulling me again.

     This Red Thread (as the Chinese legend goes) is tied, by the gods, around the ankles or pinky fingers of those who will meet one another in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way. We all have at least one red thread. Feeling the tug of this thread, we are destined to be in relationship with each other regardless of time, place, or circumstance. It may stretch and tangle, but the magical cord never breaks.




      All babies are miracles; my biological children have red threads wrapped all over them. These threads have definitely been stretched but they've never broken. The Real Deal is that there have been times when a thread got so thin and so threadbare that I could almost hear it snap. It didn't. Looking back, I see that the thread wasn't even close to breaking; it was only stretching to let growth happen. You see, if this Red Thread is wrapped up too tightly around your child, he can't grow. Stretching is inevitable, no matter how painful it may be. Eventually, the thin thread becomes a strong cord. This is happening in my life right now... finally.

     Today we're celebrating the birthday of "tugger" number 5. She is twelve today. She is growing into a smart, beautiful, interesting, and yes - a complex work of art. The thread is starting to stretch a bit, and it even is getting somewhat tangled now and then, but I now know something that I didn't know the first time around. It will never break no matter what. It's way too strong.

As three days suffice to cover certain trees with flowers, six months had sufficed to clothe her with beauty. Her April had arrived. Les Miserable-Victor Hugo

     Child number six also has a birthday soon. We felt her tug while in China in 2004. As soon as we got home, we recommenced the process and returned to China in 2008. She is quiet, deep, creative, sensitive, and her thread hasn't stretched or become too tangled up yet. She is stingy with her smiles, but when one comes, my heart swells.

A smile is the same as sunshine; it banishes winter from the human countenance. Les Miserable-Victor Hugo

     Maybe some of you are feeling a tug. It very well might be someone on the other end of your red thread kicking his feet and waving his hands to get your attention; asking you to open up your heart in another relationship. I think that in the end we only regret the chances we didn't take.

     Don't ignore the tug...

Melanie

It always seems impossible until it is done. Nelson Mandela

Getting Rid of a Stumbling Block or Why I Opted Out of Testing

   

     I have to admit it. Our homeschooling journey has been sailing fairly smoothly over the last couple of years. Naturally, being a product of the public school system and having experienced it four times with my now-grown children, it has taken me a little while to change my education paradigm. I no longer feel that being in "school" for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 180 days a year equals a well rounded education. I see that children need to be free to move along their own path at their own speed, all the while being constantly given worthwhile, interesting, and important ideas to feast upon.

Our business is to give him mind-stuff, and both quality and quantity are essential. Naturally, each of us possesses this mind-stuff only in limited measure, but we know where to procure it; for the best thought the world possesses is stored in books; we must open books to children, the best books; our own concern is abundant provision and orderly serving.

A Philosophy of Education by Charlotte Mason

I've learned that a few good, like-minded friends are far more beneficial than navigating the sea of hundreds and provides a healthier "socialization" environment. I have seen, first-hand, how important it is to keep family ties stronger than peer ties at this young and impressionable age. But I kept tripping over one stumbling block... end-of-the-year standardized testing.

   

     Why did this testing not sit well with me? Well... for three days our children would sit in a room and fill in little circles answering questions about information taught to other children their age in public school. Hey, wait a minute! We homeschool, right? Our curriculum is different than the public school's. Granted, our girls do test well but the tests asked questions about things they had not learned during that particular school year, especially in science and social studies. They would leave the sessions feeling somewhat defeated. When the scores came in, I would feel the need to change my teaching method in order for them to obtain better test scores. (That's my type A personality showing itself.) It was just plain crazy.

     So this year we didn't have our children tested. I feel that the testing was not beneficial to the girls in any way what-so-ever, in fact, I think that it was a hinderance; maybe even an offense.

An offense, we know, is literally a stumbling-block that trips up the walker and causes him to fall.   

Home Education by Charlotte Mason

     Instead, we assembled portfolios documenting our homeschool year and enlisted a licensed teacher to review and evaluate our progress. Now we have two beautiful folders full of all we accomplished during the past nine months. Our evaluator, who is an experienced educator in a private school setting, appreciated our schooling method. It's always nice to get some strokes for work well done. Stumbling block gone!

     For those of you entertaining the thought of a portfolio evaluation, I encourage you to do so. For those of you with children who cope well with standardized testing, then I encourage you to go that route. But for all home schoolers, and even those with children in school outside of the home, I encourage you to compile a notebook through the year so you, (and your children), can visually acknowledge the progress made from all your diligent work.

   

Here's what we did:

     Through the year, I had the girls put math tests, diagramming samples, copy work, essays, etc., into a file. This wasn't all their work; just a small sampling. The other papers took a trip to the recycling bin. I kept track of the resources we used for each subject and a list of books that I read aloud this year. The girls kept track of their own independent readings by recording them in their commonplace books. (More about those at another time.)

     After accumulating photos through the year, I created collages showing some of the many different ways we studied. I had these printed at our local printing store. They came out beautifully and it was inexpensive. As you know, many learning experiences have no paper trail. (Those are the best!) This was great fun to do. I also included a page of miscellaneous pictures.

 

     Our school name, year, mission statement, and method was placed on a cover sheet. By creating this and having it in my view daily, I was constantly reminded as to why we do what we do. It helped me stay focused.

     Each three ring binder has a cover for each girl which includes her picture, name, birthdate, grade level, and school year. I added a couple of weekly schedules.We put them all together using page protectors and dividers, separating each subject: math, language arts, science, and social studies. I also included the table of contents for the math curriculum.

     This was very simple to do and I'm pleased with how they turned out. But...here's what I'll do differently this year:

 

   1.  I will take more pictures of everything we do. I certainly covered what is required, but I want to record more memories to look back on. Additionally, I will take pictures of projects and artwork so I don't feel that I have to keep all the originals. (Less stuff in the basement.)

 

 

   2.  The girls are keeping an ongoing list of their independent readings year round. I didn't have them start this until January of this year.

    3.   I will update my resource list continually through the year instead of waiting until the end.

    4.   Finally, I plan to create more organized and attractive weekly planning sheets, ones I won't be embarrassed to post in my blog!

     The Real Deal about keeping a yearly portfolio (and writing this blog) is that it keeps me focused and intentionally moving forward everyday. While I won't be around to see the "end product" of our daughters' training in life-long learning, I can see and actually hold the end product of each home schooling year.

   

     So I leave you today hoping that I gave you some encouragement on your journey. Don't let a day pass without creating moments that you will joyfully remember. Melanie


I'm linking up with Trivium Tuesdays. You'll find some great stuff there.

Don't Dumb It Down

     This is a worthwhile piece about the importance of reading quality literature to children. By reading classic, timeless books, I improve my children's comprehension levels while giving them the tools to read, understand, and enjoy classic literature. This is a gift I give my children daily. (Not to mention what it does for me!) Our next read aloud is Tanglewood Tales by Nathaniel Hawthorne. By the way, the Real Deal is that my eleven year old independently reads and comprehends these weighty books better than I do, but I'm working on it.

Please read the article here.

Hard Pressed and Loving It

We've been compiling a pressed flower notebook. These pictures do not do it justice. The effect is quite beautiful and delicate. What a fantastic activity for the summer! By adding to it through the year, we will have a pressed flower book highlighting each season. Some of the plants are a challenge to identify, but the search is half the fun!

Here's how we do it. During our nature walk, we pick whatever draws our attention, making sure to stay away from our neighbor's prized blooms. We study our treasures at home and try to identify them by use of a flower guide book and the Internet. Then we place the flowers between folded paper, put them in a heavy book, and place under a basket full of weighty this and that.

They become flat and dry in one month. The flowers shown above were picked in early May.  Flowers and leaves picked and pressed today are tucked away until July.

We then glue the pressed flowers onto watercolor paper using rubber cement, date the page, and label the specimens with their common and scientific names. (We do the best we can.)  Matte board makes a nice sturdy cover. We may decorate it, but then again, we may not. A pretty ribbon ties it together and can be untied to add more pages.

Separating the pages with tracing paper is a nice touch and helps keep the flowers intact.

The Real Deal is that I had no idea how to do this when we started but it has become a favorite activity with our girls. We will continue it through the year, making a beautiful keepsake as we improve our powers of observation, and gain some knowledge about the plants of each season.

Happy picking!
Melanie

We Have Crabs...Really!

May...a month of reflection and new beginnings. We've closed the books (literally) on another school year and I've finished our portfolios. May brought the end of our CC year and with that, I've said goodby to being the director of our local Classical Conversations Community and hello to more focused time at home. I loved my CC job but feel that I need to step back and take a deep breath.

"Be selective. Keep some items on the table. Keep your load light enough to enjoy the journey, not just endure it. In the process you will find it easier to focus wholeheartedly on those who are walking beside you." When More is Less- Simply Charlotte Mason

Early Spring

M's journal entry of a beach find.

May is one of my favorite months. I'm always awed at the seemingly sudden appearance of stunning plants emerging from what looks like barren soil. So, we've been spending lots of time outside gardening and taking in the beauty of God's creation. Both girls started a pressed flower notebook that they will add to each season. We are using this beautiful notebook as a guide throughout the year along with these outdoor challenges . Spending last week at the beach was just plain fun. Before the trip, we began reading Pagoo by Holling Clancey Holling and our exploring juices started flowing. We were fascinated by all the sea creatures, especially the horseshoe crabs (living fossils) and hermit crabs. We even adopted two hermits, painted shells and all. They live in M's dresser drawer.

Morning and making friends with a horseshoe crab.

This morning we started our Summer Schole group. What a delightful way to spend a Friday morning. And yes, my dear old friends, I'm the grandma of the group! (and I love it.)

Drawing nature treasurers

We also started a Sister Schole group this week. Once a month we will meet and discuss For The Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley.  I truly believe that if I'm going to raise our children to be the best that they can be, I have to work on being my best self also. Learning is a life long pleasure.

Hermie. Can you see his little eyes?

"Life is just too interesting for boredom." 

Why do I write this blog? Why do I organize these schole groups? The Real Deal is that I want to be a better mom, wife, and friend the second time around. I'm striving to be a model of virtue for our young daughters, my adult children, and my granddaughter.

"Children at that age are only copies of their mother. The size is smaller; that is all."  Les Miserables         OUCH...       

 If I can be a source of encouragement and inspiration to a young mom, I will be in bliss. It's never to late to change; in fact, we're changing all the time as are our children. As an older mom, I look back on so many mistakes that I have made and most of them involve not taking the time to get to know my children. I'm not going to do that again and I encourage all parents to slow down. Our children will thrive if we nourish them with stimulating ideas, absorbing pursuits, healthy habits, and a sense of humor. But most of all, take the time to get to know them.

"It's about every single day being a new day. And each time you wake up, you look at the sky you've been given as a gift. The day is here. What are you going to do with it?"  The Talent Code by  Daniel Coyle.                   

Pagoo. He has cute eyes also.

I guess this quote from East of Eden pretty much sums up my feelings about my life right now.

"I don't want to know how it comes out. I only want to be there while it's going on."

Melanie

They made these gorgeous skirts!

Dedicated to Carrie

Wednesday With Words hosted by Ladydusk


This excerpt from Les Miserables by Victor Hugo draws my thoughts to mothers, especially those caring for chronically ill children.

To be served in distress is to be caressed. Does he lack anything? No. One does not lose the sight when one has love. And what love! A love wholly constituted of virtue! There is no blindness where there is certainty. Soul seeks soul, gropingly, and finds it. And this soul, found and tested, is a woman. A hand sustains you; it is hers; a mouth lightly touches your brow; it is her mouth; you hear a breath very near you; it is hers. To have everything of her, from her worship to her pity, never to be left, to have that sweet weakness aiding you, to lean upon that immovable reed, to touch Providence with one's hands, to be able to take it in one's arms, -- God made tangible,-- what bliss!

Melanie   msjschole.blogspot.com

Newest Obsessions...

                                     
Lately I've been obsessed with two things; our end of the year homeschool portfolio and East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I've spent late nights with English Grammar and American History, early mornings with Steinbeck and his story of the human condition, and I've learned a new word- timshel.

The story of Cain and Abel is all about timshel,  the Hebrew word meaning "Thou mayest". God has given all of us the gift of freedom and with that gift he presents us with the dilemma of choosing between good and evil because, as Steinbeck's story intriguingly illustrates, if "Thou mayest" then man can also "mayest not". I make this choice on a daily basis, as do our children. As a parent, I must respect our children's individual personalities and their God given gift of choice. They are their own people from the very beginning.

Do you think the thoughts of people suddenly become important at a given age? Do you have sharper feelings or clearer thoughts now than when you were ten? Do you see as well, hear as well, taste as vitally?*


What is my role and responsibility in the choices they make? I open doors for them. They will walk through at their own pace and in their own manner. But the doors I open must be numerous and lead to the beauty of the world. One way to do this is to offer a broad and generous curriculum. I want them to be passionate about life because the Real Deal is this: it doesn't matter how much you know but  how much you care.

But I wonder whether you ever feel that something invisible is all around you. It would be horrible if you knew it was there and couldn't see it.*


I do have a few wishes for G and M and they seem to be about God's gift of freedom:
     ~ the freedom to be smart in the best ways: He's not so smart in a worldly sense but he's a good man. Maybe the best man I have ever known.*
     ~ the freedom of feeling content when alone: Abra had lost her gift for being alone.*
     ~ the freedom to recognize good and evil; always striving to choose good: And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal.*

M at 7:30 am

I'm parenting differently this "second time around". The Real Deal is this: our children are going to be and do what they choose. I can't change who they are even if I wanted to. I can help them understand that life isn't so much about finding oneself as it is about creating and developing the whole person that God has so wonderfully made. I can make their days good to awaken to.

"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore."* Beautiful.

M's bookshelf

I truly love how G and M each march to their own drummer. They each exercise God's gift of freedom differently. They make different choices and have different passions. Thank you Lord for the gift of "timshel".

G's bookshelf

G at 7:30am

*All quotes are from East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. John Steinbeck. 

So... embrace the difference. 

Melanie                                   

The Double Ps

      I'm working hard. I'm working hard at resting. I'm trying to figure out "schole". I understand "schole" to be the search of wisdom and truth as a way of living. It sounds so beautiful and calming and inviting. Daily life consisting of ongoing learning by surrounding oneself with beauty. Lovely. The Greeks had it right. Shouldn't school be restful as well as stimulating? Then why is it so much work to rest?

     One thing I've noticed about homeschool parents is that we suffer from pride and paranoia; i.e., the dreaded "double Ps", as I have now named it. Getting all caught up with pouring tons of knowledge into our children, we have trouble taking a break. When we do relax a bit...paranoia sets in. We might get behind. Our children may not test in the correct percentile. They might not get all their Latin vocabulary memorized if we don't make them chant one more time. I fall victim to the "double Ps" more often than I care to admit.
 
    Restful learning shouldn't feel like work. The "double P" problem happens when I forget that our children have their whole lives ahead of them to learn. I won't even be around to see the end result of the seeds we're planting. My tulips develop from buds to full blossoms in one week, but that is not how a child grows. We plant the seeds, give water, sunshine, and then stand back to give them space to mature into their own God-given personalities.

     I'm blessed to have students that are very receptive to learning. But we do sometimes come up against a wall, and that is when I see that I have stepped over the line of practicing "schole". I want our girls to be curious and full of wonder about the world, not focused on getting the math page finished so we can check it off the list. So, we are making time to set aside our regular studies and explore the beauty of God's creation.

     We are birding. I am bird illiterate and I don't want to be. M is a natural learner and very keyed into nature; therefore, we are diving into the bird world. We have bird feeders, we take time to watch, and we try to identify the birds we see. We're using Learning about Birds with Thornton Burgess from Simply Charlotte Mason and reading The Burgess Bird Book for Children. It is adorable and extremely informative. We put it all together by journaling and include some copywork. We are loving this and I have to admit, M is way more knowledgeable about birds than I am. She is a sponge and I'm more like a rock!

I want to put the "double Ps" behind me. I long for our homeschool to be "homeschole". In order to rest, I need to let go and let our days take on a more natural flow. Salmon may swim upstream, but I sure do get tired doing that. The real deal of "schole" is summed up in these words of CoCo Chanel. "Don't spend time beating on a wall hoping to transform it into a door."

Until next time...

I'm Selfish

What would possess me, at this stage of my life, to homeschool? The real deal is this. I don't have a stellar education under my belt, I didn't graduate from college with the highest honors, I don't remember ever even taking calculus, and I'm not crazy about Jane Austin. But I am selfish. Let me explain myself.

We had G all signed up and ready for kindergarten. Then one day, during my morning run, I panicked. I broke out in a sweat. I made a decision. Numerous times I had laughed off my husband's suggestions to homeschool, but now, selfishly, I decided to try it. How hard could kindergarten be? I couldn't bear to not spend all day with her; to not know what she was doing for most of her wakening hours.

So here I am, seven years later still being selfish. The real deal is that thanks to my hard-working and supportive husband, I am able to have an early morning run; prepare a healthy breakfast; relearn or more often learn math concepts; draw the systems of human anatomy; parse and diagram sentences; memorize the 72 phonograms in the English language; coach piano and violin; and study the geography of the world. And we spend lots of time reading about history. Why? Because I love it. Selfish.

We are involved with a local Classical Conversations homeschooling community. By using their history curriculum, we have learned a chronological timeline spanning over 160 events from ancient empires to modern times. What works for us is that we concentrate on a certain time period and we record these events as we read about the people that made them happen in a Book of the Centuries. We keep one altogether, so that I get to do one (selfish), and then each of the girls record in their own timeline book. My goal for this year is to be able to narrate the history of the US by recalling, from memory, 24 significant events and the people who made them happen.

So now you know the real deal about why I homeschool. In the words of Henry David Thoreau,
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of too much life. Be not simply good; be good for something."